Sunday, 28 June 2015

One Year Blogging

Every since I was a young girl I've always felt like I have music In my blood. I remember being 4 years old and dancing around my bedroom, music at full blast and singing S Club 7's. I'm sure you did it too, singing around your bedroom with your hairbrush and I'm sure a lot of you still do.

Throughout my child hood I took part in multiple musical escapades, singing in shows, writing lyrics in secret and playing instruments. Not to mention being involved in the performing arts, specifically dance, from the age of 4-18. In retrospect I can't help but wonder if I hadn't grown up in a quiet village in Norfolk that I would have had the same passion and drive to excel with my hobbies.

I was born in London in 96 and then moved to Devon when I was 1, to then make another move to Norfolk when I was 3 which Is where we have stayed put. I'm faced with beautiful English scenery everyday and beautiful English weather... Haha. I guess you can say I am the definition of a country girl dreaming of the 'big city'. I've always had a busy lifestyle and I strive off it. But when It came to making the decision about 'university' 'career' 'the rest of your existence' I'm not going to lie to you I panicked like hell.

I started my blog In the summer of 2014 and since then I've watched it grow, evolve and become what it is today. But what a lot of you may not know is why my blog, unconventional fashion, travel, beauty, lifestyle and whatever else I can think of, came about. My GCSE grades where good and I received 12 in total. I am two types of learner 1. The creative type who throws herself into a project 2.  The mechanical worker who is weirdly OCD about unnecessary things. Anyone who knows me will have a giggle at that because It is soooo true. My point is I never really had a 'thing'. A  thing that I was exceptionally good at or enjoyed ridiculous amounts. 

I'm going to be more honest with you right now then I was with many best friends and boyfriend during that year of a levels. They destroyed me. It was like watching my passions crumble and fade away. Don't get me wrong I am talented in the performing arts and this is from years of hard work in many aspects of the field, but academically the subjects frustrated me and as pathetic as it may sound they didn't feel 'right'. I'm not saying that the school didn't have it's perks. I got to take part in a musical which was something I had never experienced before and It did relight that flame in my belly for performing. But mostly what I became from sixth form was a subdued and enclosed person. I barely went out any more, I dressed more 'appropriate' and less ME, I stopped caring about how I looked which evolved to caring less about how I held myself. Little parts of my personality started to fade and I felt like I was losing site of who I truly am.

I've always wanted to be part of the music industry. I guess you could say that sixth form made me lose sight on what mattered. I let academic ability - the ability to recite from text books in my case - affect my confidence with everything. Most importantly, I lost sight of why I was doing the subjects I love. This may sound really melodramatic to a lot of you, but reflecting on how much I've changed in the last few years is extremely relevant to how much my blog has affected me as a person. 

I remember the day when I sat down and created hannahjanewilliams.blogspot.com(co.uk), I'd toyed with having a name like 'rayofhanshine' as my birthday is the summer solstice but that never truly stuck with me and although I like it, It didn't feel right. I didn't feel like I was a ray of hanshine at that moment in time, so I felt like the best way to market and present myself to you lovely people was by... well... me. I never actually told any of my friends about my blog... they all kind of just found out. Which I guess Is a good thing. See being the shy introvert that I was, I didn't want to blast myself online like HELLO HOW ARE YOU ALL I STARTED A BLOG AND NO ONE IS READING IT YET. Because frankly that would of been crazily embarrassing. So I created separate accounts: Twitter: hanjanewilliams and Instagram: hannahjanewilliams (used to be hannahjaneblog).

Over time I felt like I was becoming a more confident and happy person. I felt like my anxiety about being judged by my peers was short sited and unnecessary - although a lot of them probably didn't judge due to the perks of blogging (gifts). For me the happiest parts of my blogging experience so far is by watching it grow. I'm proud that I over come my fears and decided that I was going to use my space on the Internet to rejuvenate. The comments I get from people I have never met yet care so much about my happiness, Is the most heart warming and encouraging aspect of my hobby. I know that If I'm having a bad day, there is always someone there for me with guidance, support or just to tell me you can do it. Whatever that may be. Whether that is moving away from my home, making big decisions, meeting new people, getting pushed out of my comfort zone or just accepting that my imperfections are a GOOD thing.

September 2014 brought across a few things which were integral
1. Finding a university course that I was actually interested in and could consider doing.
2. Getting invited to Ax Paris & My Bandage Dress blogger events. I felt a bit... confused? To say the least. That a little blogger from Norfolk was being asked to visit  Manchester and Birmingham, cities I've never visited before, with people I have never met. Scary. But I was wrong as travelling alone via train that far was an experience and a half, whilst meeting tonnes of other bloggers inspired me and made me happy.
3. I started a business course at college that opened my mind to new opportunities. I met a bunch of new people who injected love and happiness in to my life. They, without realising, helped me to become a more confident and happy individual and I am eternally grateful to them for that.

Before christmas I then started up my YouTube channel... which Is still crazy to me. I visited Barcelona, New York and managed to get my Grade 7 Singing at merit. Yikes right. Vlogging to me is a more interactive form of blogging. I like to be able to sit in front of a camera and just talk about what I like. Through vlogging I'm now in contact with so many blogger's who are endlessly supportive of me and are like friends I've never met. I hope that this year of blogging that's a head of me, will bring me closer to the friends I have made through blogging and YouTube and hopefully, introduce me to more. There's also the recent development of my Google Partnership. God life is weird.

A year of blogging. Blogging is a passion and a hobby for me and I never want it to leave my life now it's here. So what can you expect of the year to come? I want to inject more music into what I do online. Music is a huge part of who I am and It's something you all don't see. I want to travel, scrap that explore. It doesn't have to be abroad, but I want to discover new places, with new people I meet and old. I want to become an adventurer and discover the little things in life. But most of all, what do I want from another year of blogging? Happiness. I never want to have a reason to be unhappy in the year of blogging to come. This website is the diary of everything I'm doing and loving, I want to continue that and prove that anything is possible if you set your mind to it.





Thank you for reading, thank you for supporting me and most of all... Thank you. 


Lots of love, 




7 comments:

  1. This is such a great post Han! I have been reading your blog and following your channel for 6 months and in those 6 months your channel and blog has grown so much! This week it was 100 days since i sent you the very 1st DM on instgram and it feels amazing to be able to message you and tell you what i have been up to! (I still get excited over the fact that you described my singing as "spot on tune girl!" :) i am also a very musical person and music has been a massive part of my life for 10 years since i was 2! I have said yes to more musical opportunities recently and you have inspired me to say yes to them! In a few weeks time i will be performing in front of my whole school and teachers and parents etc in a school singing festival where 10 people out of 1000 who auditioned will be performing and guess who got the lead roll................. me! I will be singing Flashlight with backing dancers!!! The whole point of this long message was to say that you inspire me everyday and i would not be the same person today without you! Orla xxx

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    1. PS you inspired me to take a risk and to upload a video of me singing! I have also been meaning to insert more music into my YouTube channel so yesterday i uploaded a video of me singing! Yes you did just read that, there is a video of me singing on the internet..... Scary! What made it more scary for me is that my whole school (and music school) watch my videos so they have now all seen me sing :0 It would be amazing to have some feedback on what you think so if you have any time i would really appreciate it if you could check it out xxx

      Here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvrxFNlixDs

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    2. Thank you and congratulations! x

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  2. What a lovely post to read! I definitely relate to you on struggling to find something you loved and excelled at in sixth form - sixth form was probably the most boring and draining 2 years of my life! Anyway so happy for you now and how things seem to be looking up :) You're going to have an amazing time living and studying in London (very jealous indeed!). Oh and of course congrats on a year of blogging.. your blog has been so successful in just a year!
    Rachel Coco

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    1. Ahhh how lovely! Thank you Rachel :) xxx

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  3. What a lovely post :) I love your blog and your youtube channel and it's done amazingly well in a year :) Your happiness and positivity comes across to everyone that reads it xx

    www.holliebeca.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. What a lovely comment Hollie! So happy that it comes across, lots of love xx

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Hannah Jane Williams